Going to attack a couple more of these things today…

3. Exercise Self-Control – the word “self-control” means to control or restraint oneself or one’s actions, feelings, etc. This is one of the fruits of the spirit spoken about in the book of Galatians”

This is probably one of the greatest things I’ve learned this year. For most of my life I tried to obtain self-control and it was always in public, the “appearance of self-control” while in my private life, inner thoughts, just me time I would feed my flesh with things that nobody knew about. I thought it was OK as long as it hurt no one around me, nobody knew about it there was no harm. Actually I think I believed that this is how men lived their lives. My father taught me at a very young age that men are different with other men than with family, wife, kids etc….they acted different, talked different, did things that were “men” things. I am not blaming my father for my actions, it’s how I took it and how it affected me in my life. I made my own choices.

A man living in the flesh, not a born again, spirit filled man, this makes sense, you do what you can to keep your private thoughts and desires private. Now most (I think) grow up and mature and learn to live a decent life without secrets…I don’t know, I’m assuming this. Anyways for me I can excuse my behavior because it was all I knew at the time. BUT when I found the Lord, when I was filled with the Spirit and when I was being transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit day by day — when I proclaimed to be a “new man” I should have laid all of that at the altar, I should have been an open book with my life WITH THE LORD! The funny thing is He knew, He knows, and yet he allowed me to be stupid — free choice!! free will!!

Here is what I’ve learned this year that has changed my life! GOD SEE’S ALL and KNOWS ALL about me, I cannot “get away” with anything. My flesh stinks, I cannot be trusted with my life, I am a SINNER, I am selfish, I am arrogant, I am proud, I am deceitful, I cannot be trusted. And that my friends is a GREAT FREEING WAY to live!! So I may as well live my life openly. Today I get up every morning and lay my life before Him, I let him know, I can’t do this today without him. I can’t be a good father, husband, employee, grandfather, servant, leader, etc etc etc without HIM!! I die to my flesh each day, I can’t do that in my flesh, I can’t hide my prideful attitude, I can’t hide my deceitful ways, I can’t love my wife and my family — all I care about in my flesh is ME!!!

So, today I am walking in “self-control” through the power of the Holy Spirit — without Him I will just let you down, hurt you and walk all over you trying to get my needs met. NO WAY TO LIVE!!! I am happy for the first time in a long time, I am clean with nothing I need to hide. I praise Him!!
 

4. Have a good reputation – hahaha I have NO reputation today!!! Before my public fall did I have a good reputations? NO!!!! I just hid from those who had things against me!! There are always some who mis-judge and try to ruin your reputation and that happened and boy when it did I FOUGHT, talked bad about them, become judgmental and felt I was in the right doing so. Where was the humility? When one is guilty of things, they all the more voice tress in it!! Go into big defense mode!! Horrible!!!

There was a long list of people that had ought against me that ruined my reputation as a “man of God” — MANY!! But I fought, tried to make them look bad and wrong and moved on surrounding myself with people that like me and respected me. EWWWWW

So, the thing Paul is talking about is even before one becomes an “elder” – do they have a good reputation? We are to be tested  and we need to pass the test. How do you do that? How do you test ones reputation? That is a good question and I really don’t know the answer to it. If I was asked to being in people to answer questions about me I had plenty of people that would TALK it up of what a great man I was, how much honor I had blah blah blah…. So I really don’t know the answer to this, BUT I would say the closest I could come would be through the mans/woman’s family, spouse etc…. my wife knew my secrets and my deception with the hopes of me changing one day. She knew that I loved the Lord and tried to do the best thing for me and the church. I think she would do it differently today. I have sat on committee’s that “test” men and women preparing them for ministry and I would say every time a man or a woman feel out of grace in ministry the spouse and family members knew about it and just buried it. OUCH OUCH OUCH —

All of this I’m writing does not mean I wasn’t real – that my experiences were faked, my life was a fake, my ministry was a fake — I was flawed and God cares more about MY HEART and MY SALVATION than he does about my reputation!!! So it came to this and I praise HIM.

Well, there is 2 more of the LONG list   – more to come

I will take a post or two to line my life up… I am seeking the Holy Spirit in this to help me, to open my eyes to the truth of who I was, who I am and who He wants me to be. There is pain in this but they is also healing in this. I am going through the Scriptures with no study notes, no commentaries, no sermons, no books, nobody’s thought. I am seeking the Holy Spirit to open my eyes and my spirit to the truth in each word. With that said I understand the scriptures are alive through the power of the Holy Spirit and there are SO many levels to them. They can have so many meanings as they relate to the reader. I’ve read these a hundred times, I’ve preached them, taught them etc…. but today this is for ME, I’m blogging my journey.

So an Elder/Pastor must be a man whose life…..
Verse one he talks about the role of elder as an honorable position and to be in a position like this you have to have a “right” spirit….as I look back over my time as a pastor I believe that I entered into the role with a very humble spirit, with the right motives. As I grew into this my flesh become a very big part of it. Being a pastor is NOT easy by any means, there are so many expectations, you live in a glass bowl, your job is 24/7, people do not mind speaking their minds to you, letting you know all your faults, you are involved in very sensitive area’s of peoples lives and that is another whole story. As I look back I hated when someone didn’t like me, or called me out on things and so I think that I gravitated towards those who would show me honor and stayed away from those who did not. And there were plenty who did not……near the end of my time as a pastor, many showed me honor in our city just because of who they “thought” I was, just because I was a pastor. I thrived on being known, being looked upon as a “good” man, a man who served his community and loved people. But there were plenty of people who I have offended or did wrong over the years and those I stayed clear of and made excuses.

So Paul writes after talking about “an honorable position” SO……and elder must be a man whose life is………” that word SO is huge!!! Right there was my downfall…. I did not line up!!! I will discuss each point somewhat. These will be brutally honest and open.

1. Above Reproach – there are many meanings to this word “reproach” and I would like to share this one…”a cause of occasion of disgrace or discredit” Was my life a disgrace or discredit for Jesus Christ? Did I do things in my life to disgrace him? Being a pastor is a calling from God himself to represent Jesus in this world through the power of the Holy Spirit. IT’s not to be toyed with, mis-used, I was to be the mouth of God for his people at this time. We all know when someone blows it, it remains with them, you don’t trust the words they use, you can’t sit under them in leadership roles, I was not above reproach in my life by any means. I do believe my hearts desire was to be……. but there were things that happened over the years with people that was JUST WRONG!! And I would sweep it all under the carpet and stay clear of that person. Most of the time it would be with my words or something with my finances.

I am very ashamed as the Lord brings things back to my memory – with that said I am very thankful that I have a clean slate and today I am living my life totally open and clean. I have learned that a life above “reproach” is not a life given to you because of the position but it’s your private life being exposed on a daily basis, at any time under any circumstances. It is being transparent, it is living in a glass bowl………. this is the life God calls men and women to when he calls them to pastor/elders… there are no secrets.

2. Faithful to his wife – when I think of this the first thing that comes to my head is Bill Clinton! “Define the word “LIE” he said among many other things. The word “Faithful” has such a deep meaning, much more than just faithful sexually in a marriage. In fact the world has even defined what it means to be faithful sexually in a marriage, as Mr. Clinton helped us with that too! It is not unfaithful if you don’t have intercourse with another woman, but only touch or have oral sex. What a crock!!! Anyways the point is being faithful to his wife does not mean just sexually!!

A man that is faithful to his wife is faithful in all things…… ALL THINGS!! It means “true to one’s word, promises, vows etc” well let’s take a look at the promises and vows in a marriage relationship.

“I, Greg Nethaway, take you Diane Atkinson, to be my wife, to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.”

…to have an behold – the word “behold” means to look at, to see – the vow is to look at her as mine, my heart belongs to her and her alone! I am vowing to no longer look at others with any thoughts of how they could make me happy, how they look, dress, act PERIOD!! I have vowed to “BEHOLD” her for the rest of my life — till DEATH

“for better or for worse” wow these are such big words – it means NO MATTER WHAT!! If my needs are met or not, in the good times and the bad times…. not dependent on what she says or does, I have VOWED to behold her in the best of times and the worst of times. That means when she is cranky, PMS’ing, mad at me, has no self-esteem, doesn’t like the same things I like, is grumpy …. no matter what!!

“For richer or poorer” – no need to even speak too much on this. Our vows do not loose meaning if financial times are hard or GOOD – sometimes marriages break up over money even when money is plentiful!! But what about richer or poorer in our health? Our love? Our fun times? I believe it goes way deeper than money.

“in sickness and in health” Marriage fall apart in both of these areas. The vow is to remain faithful in both. Sickness in the body and the MIND –

“To love and to cherish” – I am convinced that the only way for “true and real” love is through the Love of Christ. So many people have so many dysfunctions and shortcomings, that once you get to know them you may not like them let alone love them. Pure love is GOD – I am to love my wife as Christ loved the church — he gave his LIFE for the church!! Love is a funny word and we use it for everything, it takes work. CHERISH – oh man this one is huge. “to hold or treat as dear, feel love for, to car for tenderly, nurture, to cling fondly” You cherish what you LOVE !!!

“till death do us part” NUFF SAID – till the end, no back doors –

These are the vows, not just about cheating sexually on your wife. I must say now with a broken heart that I was NOT faithful to my wife for 26 years of our marriage!! Today, it’s a new story – my life is number one dedicated to the Lord and secondly to my wife. I cannot wait to “re-marry” her and renew my vows to her knowing this time I will be faithful to my wife till death do us part, however long that may be.

Well, this is enough for me today! LOL – as you can see this will take some time to go through but worth going through point by point. There are 15 things listed here and I have only touched on 2.  My prayer is one day I will be restored back into full time ministry, but if NOT I am ok with it…… my heart and my love for the Lord is real, it’s pure and it’s growing. I look forward to whatever He has for me. I am content.

 

So an Elder/Pastor must be a man whose life…..
1. Above Reproach
2. Faithful to his wife
3. Exercise Self-Control
4. Have a good reputation
5. He must enjoy having guest in his home
6. Must be able to teach
7. Not a heavy drinker *not drink too much wine
8. Must not be violent
9. Must be gentle
10. Must not be quarrelsome
11. Must not love money
12. Must manage his family well, having children who love and respect him.
13. He must not be a new believer
14. People outside the church must speak well of him.
15. He must live with a clear conscience.

Before they are appointed let them be closely examined. IF they “pass the test” then let them serve as deacons/elders/pastor.

These are the things I will talk about over the next couple post – I will line my “past” life up with each one of these and then share my thoughts on the verse 10….this will be painful but OH SO GOOD for me and my future whatever that may be. Here is are the Scriptures…1Timothy 3:1-10

This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be an elder,[a] he desires an honorable position.” 2 So an elder must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife.[b] He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. 3 He must not be a heavy drinker[c] or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. 4 He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. 5 For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?

6 An elder must not be a new believer, because he might become proud, and the devil would cause him to fall.[d] 7 Also, people outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not be disgraced and fall into the devil’s trap.

8 In the same way, deacons must be well respected and have integrity. They must not be heavy drinkers or dishonest with money. 9 They must be committed to the mystery of the faith now revealed and must live with a clear conscience. 10 Before they are appointed as deacons, let them be closely examined. If they pass the test, then let them serve as deacons.

I’ve said a couple times that chapter 3 is going to hurt. I will try to explain this as best I can although I think as I go through this chapter it will explain itself.

Paul is writing to Timothy giving instructions for the church, for the body, for the leaders, to men, to women, to the pastors/elders, to the deacons. The bible is inspired by the Holy Spirit and so I can’t just say this is Paul’s deal, I must say Paul penned this while in the Spirit and it has deep meaning for me and you today. Paul “Gets it” when it comes to men and how we work, he sees what it takes and I believe he sees through all the deception and the pride of men, this is why he writes these things in this letter.

This section of Scripture is used by church leadership as a man or woman is going through the process of becoming an elder, in fact when I was ordained the general superintendent of the church laid his hands upon my head and prayed a powerful prayer over me using these very words, the word brought to us that night was preached out of this sections, the charge given to me was given out of this sections of scripture. I made a VOW before him, before the congregation, before my family and most of all before GOD to live out these scriptures. I committed myself to the idea if I ever fell short of this I would turn my credentials back into the church. I did that a little over a year ago, with much pain and shame.

And to top it off I sat on a committee that used these same scriptures to help other men and women go through the process, I would “test” them in their commitment and truth in these very scriptures, I would have to use judgment as to weather a man or a woman would “pass the test” as Paul puts it in chapter 3 — and in the last 3 years on that board, I was living in deception and a lie — I have not even started dealing with this emotion yet, I’ve been so consumed with my wife and family, job and just being able to breathe…..and so I know I now have to deal with it, face it. Even in just writing this little introduction to this chapter I am wrecked. BUT I know in the end the pain will turn to joy with FREEDOM in this.

The first verse……..1Tim 3:1 – “This is a trustworthy saying “If someone aspires to be an elder”, he desires an honorable position”

I find myself going back about 30 years to when I first felt my calling to go into ministry. The calling was so strong, sweet and pure! So innocent. My life had changed so much and I wanted to dedicate it to serving God for the rest of my life. I wanted people to know what HE can do and He does do when people stand before him naked and open. The problem being, looking back today is I did not stand before him naked and open…….. I only allowed parts of my life open to him and other I held on to tightly…. I did not do this on purpose, I believe it’s all I knew and I did the best I could, not even realizing it. I proclaimed transformation so boldly and so quickly that I had to start living it right away, tried living it in public while private life was not the same! This is the first time I’ve admitted that or maybe a better way to put it is the first time I’ve really seen it. Very quickly I had to “put on” who I was in front of people…….. my hearts desire, my prayers, my hope was that one day soon all would change, or I could suppress it all until it went away. AS I KNOW NOW, that is just a stupid way to think and to live, everything that is not nailed to the cross and crucified will bear it’s ugly little head sooner or later. I really DID have the desire to be a person that lived a HOLY LIFE.

Another part of this first Scripture is the idea of an “honorable position”  — man oh man. I question what my motive was in this at this point of my life. Did I look at it as an honorable position or a position to gain honor?

I do believe that GOD called me to preach, I do believe that God touched me and changed so much of me, I DO believe that God wanted to complete the work He started in me. I do believe that God used me in many ways. But God will not be mocked and after all these years I was exposed and my entire life came out……..  not to the world but to me! And for that I am so very grateful to Him. Now it’s me and God walking through this day by day, in the midst of transformation and renewal, restoration and a heart that is be made ready to do His work.

A very grateful man!!

 

I really want to move on into chapter 3, lol although I don’t know why, it’s going to HURT!!! But I guess that is part of the healing in my life…….taking a good look at my life through the eyes of the Father, seeing truth and allowing Him to design who I am rather than me. I didn’t do so well.

This is a very tough chunk of Scripture –  “Women should learn quietly and submissively. ¹² I do not let women teach men or have authority over them.^[b] Let them listen quietly. ¹³ For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. ¹⁴ And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. ¹⁵ But women will be saved through childbearing,^[c] assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.”

God created man and woman with order and a plan. He created us very differently, our tendencies are both very different, man is not SMARTER than a woman, man is NOT to rule over a woman with an iron fist, walk over her as a doormat. AGAIN………man has totally messed up what God has created trying to make it man’s thoughts rather than God’s thoughts. All this really took place at the fall and has just went downhill from there. God created woman as a help-meet and in doing so he completed man. Paul says we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and as I read it Christ DIED for the church. SO…SOOO hear me well, it’s not about MEN being OVER women or women being LOWER than a man. BUT…….God did create man to be the head and lead women, and do not forget with God he is ALWAYS in the Spiritual not the natural –

Paul is speaking in this scripture that men are to be the “spiritual leaders” in the body of Christ and the home. A woman should not come in a usurp their authority!! Did you hear? “USURP” — there is a HUGE difference between God’s calling and anointing and someone that comes in a “takes over” with force the authority of the church or teaching in the church!!! Paul is not talking about women are who are lower, not allowed, God can’t use, and the list goes on and on…. he is talking about women coming into the church and taking over when God designed it differently.

God has RAISED up some mighty women, he has anointed some powerful women and He will use them in the body of Christ. He created men to be “MEN” in the body but it is the MEN who have failed God by becoming a bunch of weak men that have allowed and counted on women to take care of the “spiritual” needs of the families.

I have always said that the strength of a church and a family will be equal to the strength of the men of the church/husband.

The end of this section of scripture speaks about “women will be saved through childbearing assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness and modesty”

This is a very tough thought in today’s world. I believe/think that this speaks of the great importance of being a mother. A woman’s number one job is teaching their children about the Lord, the ways of God, SALVATION! A woman is to teach young children how to live life in faith, love, holiness and modesty……….by example. This is how God designed them to find their worth in life.

As most things again here we have taken this and tried to make it understandable to man and created rules, regulations, churches, denominations etc to try and keep this in place, make these scriptures work for us.

Well, there it is……….not a popular view I’m sure ….. But God and God’s word is not very popular with the world is it? That’s why it gets so twisted.

I have been praying, chewing and pondering on this section of scripture. I have to say in the past I would probably skip right over it with the thought “it’s for the times they were living in” after all during this writing women held a different place in society. But then I have to ask the question why did God put this in his book? So I have come to this conclusion………today that is.

In this chapter Paul is talking about worship and giving instructions for men and women. There is no doubt that God created man and woman with purpose and he created us different as human beings. Paul saw things, I believe through the power of the Holy Spirit that he warns us about and I can say that I GET WHAT PAUL WAS SAYING now in my own life. This is written out of my perspective from my own experience.

⁹ And I want women to be modest in their appearance.^[a] They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. ¹⁰ For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.

First of all this is Paul saying “I want….” it’s not saying GOD WANTS or DEMANDS or puts a new rule in place. Paul just finished writing about men lifting hands, praying for others, pleasing God with their lives……. he instructs men to be men that live in honor and integrity, giving GOD their ALL…. then he turns to the women and gives them instruction about the way they dress in worship, their hair, jewelry etc. WHY? because he knew and saw how distracting women can be to a man when they come in looking stellar, sexy, and knowing it. He knows how men are, we can have the best intentions, be in worship, be in prayer and a woman comes in dressing for attention….there is a HUGE difference between a woman who dresses nice and dresses to get attention. I have had women ask me if I noticed what they wore, how I like what they wore etc….if men are honest we will admit that it happens….. and it takes our eyes off of the Lord. Paul says “make yourself attractive by the good things you do”

A couple years ago I wrote on my old blog a blog about “true beauty” and I used my wife as an example…… it was in the middle of my mess and I saw her beauty through her dedication to the Word, good deeds, love…etc. I wish I had a copy of it to post here but that blog site is long gone (maybe she has it) the point is what Paul writes is TRUE and I have experienced it.

The world teaches us it’s OK to look and not touch…….. it’s normal for a man to look in a lustful way as long as they keep it private and locked away………but I have learned this year GOD SEES THE HEART and the secrets of the heart!! It’s a dangerous game.

And again here is a great example of how our thoughts are not God’s thoughts…. men end up making rules and regulations that turn into legalism trying to stay pure…… there are churches where women can’t wear anything but long dresses, hide their hair, no make up, and the list goes on…….. is this the ANSWER? NO NO NO NO NO NO — and again I say NO!!!! The answer is a pure heart that is sanctified by the Holy Spirit – RESTING IN HIM moment by moment day by day. Any other way turns to legalism and ALWAYS goes south. We have seen it in this world through secret sexual sins in the churches, different religions that treat women like they are nothing.

Does God want women to go back to no make up and no jewelry? NO!! We are an ever changing society and world…….he wants us to live HOLY lives for Him… men and women side by side touching the world around them.

Listen to what Paul is saying and take it to heart………I believe he knew exactly what he was saying to the men and the women of the church.

Funny even in writing this little post I get nervous about it…. if you know me YOU KNOW I HATE politically correctness to the fullest and this my friends falls into that realm. Stupid!

In the next couple days I will finish this chapter and move on to chapter 3  — what will it hold? But first I have to tackle women teaching in the church and leading men?

I am trying to wrap my head around this section of scripture 1Tim 7:-15.

It makes me nervous to even write about it because of the nature of it. Paul writes about women in the church, he is speaking to the church about “Instructions about Worship” and we come to this section. I have asked a couple people what they think of these scriptures and well it seems that most have an idea of what Paul meant or it was meant for the days it was written. I personally am not 100% on this.

I made a commitment awhile back that for me while reading the Scriptures I would only read the scriptures, would not read commentaries, book, sermons, thoughts, blogs etc about the scriptures I’m studying at the time. I would read, soak, saturate myself in them and ask the Holy Spirit to help me with understanding. That is not so easy to do!!! Everything in me wants to DIG INTO what others have found in their studies, what the “greats” have found and concluded. Why? Because I don’t want to be wrong!! LOL – I don’t want to be made a fool with off the wall thoughts on the Scriptures. Now we do know the word is ALIVE through the power of the Holy Spirit, we do know that we see through human eyes, we do know that our thoughts are not His thoughts. SO, the Word has many different levels to it, can say one thing to me and another to you and both be correct. Agreed?

Here is the Scripture for you to read – to understand this you have to read the entire chapter and well even the entire book…. so I’m not ready to give my thoughts on this today — maybe tomorrow — still chewing.

1Tim 2:9-15

⁹ And I want women to be modest in their appearance.^[a] They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. ¹⁰ For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.

¹¹ Women should learn quietly and submissively. ¹² I do not let women teach men or have authority over them.^[b] Let them listen quietly. ¹³ For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. ¹⁴ And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. ¹⁵ But women will be saved through childbearing,^[c] assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.

 

In chapter 2 Paul is writing to Timothy giving instructions about worship – he talks about prayer, says for us to pray for EVERYONE and then he mentions kings and leaders. Says it’ pleases God when we do this, it’s God’s desire that EVERYONE knows the truth. There is only ONE who can bring people to God, one who paid the price to reconcile EVERYONE In this world and that is the MAN Christ Jesus!!!

We love this don’t we – well I do, such great churchy things to say. Let me just talk about me in this place. I like most others can talk the talk just fine. But it’s more fun, more exciting to talk negative about kings and leaders. I along with many other seem to make others out to be satan, evil etc……….. bottom line SO WHAT if a man or woman is evil IF we really worship God……I mean REALLY WORSHIP God with our lives and not our mouths we would know God’s heart….HE LOVES THE WORST OF THE WORST. The politician that pours his entire life into passing abortion laws, gay marriage, and well the list goes on and on. We as Christians (me) love to take up our HOLY BANNER and fight with our words and our acquisitions.

Our weapons are not of this world – prayer, worship, intercession – those are our weapons!! And even in this we get so FAR OFF – we use our public prayers to say things we cannot say in public! Again it all comes down to our hearts and our relationship with the Father. IF we have a shallow relationship we will fight in shallow ways, if we have a shallow relationship we will speak in shallow ways. REST IN HIM!! Every day, every moment – we cannot even pray a prayer without Him or it becomes flesh.

Paul is writing some very very tough and deep stuff here…….. I’m afraid most pass it over and make it about “us” rather about HIM. Paul is full of wisdom and is very aware of the reality of men, and how men/women take principles and turn them upside down.

He says “I want all men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, FREE from anger and controversy” this is such a HUGE statement, command, truth. Men will make this a legalistic thing, or a way to please God – I have lifted my hands before the Lord in worship for years……holy hand? What does that really mean? FREE from anger and controversy….wow I could write an entire sermon series on this one little scripture and probably will – even if it’s ONLY for me to read and live out.

He ends this chapter speaking about women in worship – IF you know me you know how I feel about legalism – rules – etc…..this section of scripture is very important to the body of Christ and I’m still wrapping my head around it…….. this will be part 2 of this blog……..coming soon!!

My life is clean before the Lord – I can honestly say this today and I have learned that it is the ONLY way to live anything LESS than this life is FALSE and heading to DEATH – HE LOVES ME and you beyond your imagination – NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING can every change that, no matter what you do or how bad you fall his love remains………. BUT HE Cannot dwell with darkness – he cannot accept any sin or deception in our lives. He WILL NOT! DO not be fooled by any other teaching – you are either in or you are out – can’t have it both ways and the world and soooooooooo many preachers/teachers are teaching us differently……… here is a thought – READ and EAT your word…. the truth is there for all to know.

The church, body of Christ has a purpose and a responsibility in this world!!!

“He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone: this is the message God gave to the world at just the right time” 1Tim 2:6b 

I just finished the book of Hebrews and man oh man I wish I was preaching still. God is revealing so much to me, but since I’m not preaching I must believe that God is revealing it to ME and for ME. So it’s good……..life changing…….

I started into 1Timothy a couple weeks ago. I am taking my time soaking in verse by verse. It’s funny I’ve read this so many times, I think I have preached through the book before. So as I now take my time and eat each word, chew on in, savor it’s flavor it goes right into my spirit giving me strength and wisdom in so many area’s of my life.

Paul we no dummy, he saw right through the crap of the world, the tricks and deception of men and women, the motives and the manipulation of men in power or authority. He knew exactly how men are when they proclaim to be one thing and yet use it to their advantage…. he understands the deception of the devil, and how men meaning well would end up off track and eventually heading straight to hell.

He says in chapter 1 “Be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith” and goes on to talk about how some have turned away from this and they want to be KNOWN as teachers of the law of Moses, but they don’t know what they are talking about, even though they speak so confidently.

I think that the Lord is going to use this book to expose to me who I was – I meant well, I could say I loved the Lord — but I was so far off base — played the game and didn’t even realize it. I am the men Paul speaks of — well I should say I WAS the man!!!

He has filled me with the love that comes from Christ Jesus!!! And I can now say as Paul said in verse 12 of chapter 1 “He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him, even though I used be blaspheme the name of Christ” FINALLY I hear Him – He loves me and HE TRUST ME. My life is now dedicated to serving HIM not me, not my flesh, not my heart! I live at the end of my rope daily, no hourly, no every minute of every day. I will serve Him in whatever way he ask me to serve him. I may be preaching, teaching, mission field or cleaning the bathrooms in our local church!! It’s ALL ABOUT HIM!!

The end of chapter 1 there is a statement made that I cling to “Cling to your faith in Christ, and KEEP YOUR CONSCIENCE CLEAR….” I do not think that I’ve ever lived my life with a clear conscience and I must say ……….. I LIKE IT.

1Timothy chapter 2 next……