Husbands and wife’s — parents and children – friends and families all of these are connected by love. All are a different kind of love but LOVE is the key that makes relationships work. We all know that words are cheap, anybody can say “I love you” with their words and hurt you deeply with their actions. How can this be? I am going to speak to the husband/wife relationship although the “truth” is for all relationships. It is what brings words and actions together.

We are all born with the ability to love but this love is formed in what we see and experience as we grow up. Our parents, families, friends, teachers and so on. Children are starving for love if they do not get it as they should they will do whatever it takes to try and find it. Our self esteem is wrapped up in love and how we view it, experience it. So with that said you can see how there are so many dysfunctional teens, young adults and gown adults with their own families in this world. Who are trying to raise their own children only to take dysfunction to a new level in the next generation. I DO understand that there are mental disorders etc that play into all of our lives at the same time, so I am not saying everyone is a certain way because they were not loved.

For me most of my life I have been really good at making people feel like I love them with my words and some of my actions, but when it came right down to it when my selfish thoughts, desires, needs would kick in my life became all about me and I would leave my loved ones hanging, hurting, crying and alone, with a broken heart and a broken spirit. Over the years of my life I have hurt so many people that I can’t even count them all, and it brings me to tears to even think about it. But it does cause me to dig in and find out how this could be. I do know the answer…..and that answer is a reality in my life now!!!

Doesn’t it make you scratch your head when someone can be so in love and then leave their mate so broken and hurt? Have you ever been shocked to find out about a man or woman who had a secret life on the side. Why do you think it makes national news when a “star” has fallen in their marriage or relationships? It’s NOT supposed to be this way.

It is one thing to be “in love” with your wife or husband but it’s another thing to love them with your spirit. Let me try to explain this. I believe in God, I believe that we are all born with the Spirit of God after all He created us in His image. But through what happened with Adam and Eve in the garden our “spirit” died and lies dormant until awakened by the Holy Spirit. When this takes place (at salvation) everything has the ability to change. Our body has five senses that enable us to receive information from the physical world, just as our spirit enables us to receive information from the spiritual world.

At the miracle of the new birth, our spirit is joined to the Holy Spirit and filled with supernatural life. We were created with a spirit so that we could relate to God who is spirit. Our spirit is the place where we communicate with God directly and receive revelation from the Spirit.

¹⁷ But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. (1 Cor. 6:17)

There are two Greek words for life in the New Testament. The Greek word psuche speaks of natural life that all humans and animals have. The Greek word zoe points to the supernatural life of God; it is the quality of life that God has. God breathed zoe life into Adam’s spirit at creation.

Before Adam sinned, his spirit governed his soul and body. His spirit possessed the zoe life of God; thus, his spirit was dominant in his decision-making and thought processes. His physical appetites, five senses, and emotions were subject to his spirit. After Adam sinned, his spirit became devoid of God’s zoe life and filled with darkness and became spiritually dead (Eph. 2:1). Things reversed as his body (five senses) and soul (emotions) gained power over his spirit.

The challenge is that we do not feel or discern our spirit. Our spirit man is “spirit” and, therefore, it is invisible and indiscernible, even “hidden” from our five senses. We cannot measure our spirit with our five senses. Peter and Paul referred to our true life, or our spirit man in this age, as being “hidden” in Christ. Our born-again spirit is called “the hidden person of the heart.”

⁴ The hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle spirit… (1 Pet. 3:4)

 ³ For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:3)

We only know the truth about our spirit because the Word reveals it to us. Unbelievers only know about their condemnation before God because it is revealed in the Word. This is the same way that we know about our future resurrected body. As Abraham believed what God said about him without being able to see it with his eyes, so we believe (Rom. 4:18-22). Most believers do not know who they are in their spirit. They rarely ever think about their spirit. As we receive training related to our body and soul, we must receive training related to our spirit.

As we grow in our spirit-man we begin to love in a new way. I have learned that the way I love my wife today is so deep and so different that it was in the past. Why, because I LOVE HER IN THE SPIRIT, I care for and see her spirit, I love her and see her the way that God loves her!! I love her in the Spiritual Realm not just in the natural. The natural world will always let you down, people grow old, get wrinkles, loose hair, teeth, blah blah blah… the world has us to believe we will be loved more if we look and keep our youth. THIS IS A LIE!!! Growing old and dying is a TRUTH, it’s part of life.

Are there men and women who love deeply without being filled with the spirit. YES I believe that there are but it is rare and the truth is we do not see behind closed doors. Jesus says to love as He loves…. There are hundreds of Scriptures about love and it even goes as far to say if you say you love ME and hate your neighbor you are a LIAR.

This is a truth for ALL relationships. Loving someone in the flesh and loving someone in the Spirit is complete true love that cannot be shaken by the world. Your friends, children, co-workers. CARE the SOULS of your family –